Finding “your people” in college
By Sara Silverman
April 27, 2024
Image Credit: Photo by Kimson Doan on Unsplash
The people you surround yourself with at school can make or break your college experience. With the pressure of settling into school, excelling in your academics, and being away from home, making friends can be challenging, and finding “your people” can be even harder.
Having people who feel at home can make the transition to college easier and more enjoyable. Emma Goldfine, a freshman behavioral and community health major discusses her experience as a new student. While it was easy for her to create and foster new friendships, she stressed the importance of being yourself during this process.
“Stay true to who you are and become friends with people who make you feel better about yourself,” said Goldfine. This remains one of the most important things to remember when entering college. It is far too easy to get swept into social situations where you may feel yourself altering your actions or words to fit in with the people around you. But, this will only hurt you in the long run and leave you with friendships that don’t serve you.
“Give everyone a try…even if you have these preconceived notions about people before school, pretty much none of that will hold true,” said Goldfine. Goldfine also benefited from engaging with campus life, as she joined a Greek Life organization that allowed her to meet more people.
“Second semester coming back to school, I’ve only expanded my social circle.”
If you don’t put yourself out there as much as possible, you may miss out on meeting some incredible friends.
“Sometimes you want to make friends so badly that you can find yourself in a friend group where you don’t feel like you can be yourself,” said Jana Sabri, first-year PhD student in the communications department at UMD.
Sabri reminisces on her undergraduate experience at the University of North Texas. Attending a small high school, she felt nervous about going to college with so many unfamiliar faces. However, she was able to create long-lasting friendships, including ones that she still maintains after graduation.
She emphasizes the importance of getting involved on campus and knowing your values. Sabri joined a Comm Future Pros club, a student-based communications networking group, which congregated students in her classes and allowed her to meet people with similar interests.
But, she admits that creating those deeper relationships that transcend surface-level conversations requires work and does not always come naturally.
“I think making really close relationships with people was difficult because all my other friends I had known for so long,” said Sabri.
Shilpa Koneru, a freshman studying computer science, believes that some friends may come and go, and that is perfectly fine.
“Always be open to meeting new people and the people you meet might only serve a specific role in your friendship” Koneru said. “My core group of friends are absolutely amazing and I could definitely see myself being friends with them for a very, very long time, hopefully forever.”
Everything feels so new at first and every person you meet will not become your best friend immediately. It is necessary to take a step back and remember what you value in a friend. Also, what you look for in a friend may not be what your neighbor looks for in a friend.
“Just stay true to yourself so you attract the right people,” Koneru said.
It can be stressful and exhausting to make friends, especially at the beginning of the school year when everything is coming at you at full speed. Remember to be proud of yourself and show yourself love.
“Don’t be so worried and anxious about everything, everything will fall into place the way that it is meant to,” Sabri said.
Having people who feel at home can make the transition to college easier and more enjoyable. Emma Goldfine, a freshman behavioral and community health major discusses her experience as a new student. While it was easy for her to create and foster new friendships, she stressed the importance of being yourself during this process.
“Stay true to who you are and become friends with people who make you feel better about yourself,” said Goldfine. This remains one of the most important things to remember when entering college. It is far too easy to get swept into social situations where you may feel yourself altering your actions or words to fit in with the people around you. But, this will only hurt you in the long run and leave you with friendships that don’t serve you.
“Give everyone a try…even if you have these preconceived notions about people before school, pretty much none of that will hold true,” said Goldfine. Goldfine also benefited from engaging with campus life, as she joined a Greek Life organization that allowed her to meet more people.
“Second semester coming back to school, I’ve only expanded my social circle.”
If you don’t put yourself out there as much as possible, you may miss out on meeting some incredible friends.
“Sometimes you want to make friends so badly that you can find yourself in a friend group where you don’t feel like you can be yourself,” said Jana Sabri, first-year PhD student in the communications department at UMD.
Sabri reminisces on her undergraduate experience at the University of North Texas. Attending a small high school, she felt nervous about going to college with so many unfamiliar faces. However, she was able to create long-lasting friendships, including ones that she still maintains after graduation.
She emphasizes the importance of getting involved on campus and knowing your values. Sabri joined a Comm Future Pros club, a student-based communications networking group, which congregated students in her classes and allowed her to meet people with similar interests.
But, she admits that creating those deeper relationships that transcend surface-level conversations requires work and does not always come naturally.
“I think making really close relationships with people was difficult because all my other friends I had known for so long,” said Sabri.
Shilpa Koneru, a freshman studying computer science, believes that some friends may come and go, and that is perfectly fine.
“Always be open to meeting new people and the people you meet might only serve a specific role in your friendship” Koneru said. “My core group of friends are absolutely amazing and I could definitely see myself being friends with them for a very, very long time, hopefully forever.”
Everything feels so new at first and every person you meet will not become your best friend immediately. It is necessary to take a step back and remember what you value in a friend. Also, what you look for in a friend may not be what your neighbor looks for in a friend.
“Just stay true to yourself so you attract the right people,” Koneru said.
It can be stressful and exhausting to make friends, especially at the beginning of the school year when everything is coming at you at full speed. Remember to be proud of yourself and show yourself love.
“Don’t be so worried and anxious about everything, everything will fall into place the way that it is meant to,” Sabri said.