Navigating Love and Friendship From Afar: How To Maintain a Healthy Balance
By Caitlin Hillman
September 19th, 2024
Image: PM Images
In the weeks leading up to move-in, students in a relationship are often bombarded with the dreaded question: “Are you and ___ staying together?” In addition to buying school supplies and picking out game day outfits, we now have to begin evaluating our relationships - whether it be a partner or friendship.
While college is the perfect opportunity to meet new friends and form new bonds, a dark cloud by the name of “long-distance” can wreak havoc on this new experience.
Ultimately, how to handle this transition with a boyfriend, girlfriend, partner or friend is an experience that looks different for everyone. Most of us end up in a gray area, but even through the gray, it is important to find ways to balance your home relationships with your incoming college ones.
Whether romantically or platonically, these tips are here to help you navigate through these relationships during college.
Let your friends know you’re thinking about them.
Even if the communication isn’t constant, a simple check-in can mean the world to someone in a new environment. Vivian Kohn, a freshman Jewish studies major, gave her input on maintaining long distance friendships. Vivian says that every few days she will send a few friends a “Hey, thinking of you” text. She feels that this opens up a window for conversation and can really make someone's day.
Don’t close yourself off to new experiences and new people.
While long distance relationships and friendships can provide a sense of security, don’t let it interfere too heavily with this exciting time in your life. According to a study by SagePub, students in long distance relationships participate less in university-oriented activities. While it is okay to prioritize speaking to your friend or partner, make sure to maintain a healthy boundary so you don’t miss out! Kohn added that she makes an effort to attend as many on campus events as possible in order form new bonds, and emphasized the importance of being open minded.
Set times for communication.
Luckily, long distance relationships are fairly easy to maintain with cell phones and social media use. However, it is important to discuss how communication will look between you and your partner. If you have conflicting schedules, make sure to let each other know what times work best for you - which could be weekly, daily or anything in between. Psychologist Jocelyn Charnas echoed this idea in an interview with Women’s Health Magazine, adding that it is “extremely important to set realistic and healthy expectations.” This may not work out perfectly all the time, but respecting this boundary and not hyper-fixating on the communication aspect of the relationship will help ease any anxiety or stress.
Take it one day at a time - nothing is permanent.
All relationships look different. Whether you and your partner or friend have chosen to stay together, break up, or stay somewhere in the middle, it takes time to adjust and figure out what will work best for you. In the words of Dr. Charnas, “there’s no right or wrong answer, but problems ensue when [things] aren’t discussed.” Don’t be afraid to establish what you want or need, because you deserve to enjoy this time without sacrificing your home relationships.
While college is the perfect opportunity to meet new friends and form new bonds, a dark cloud by the name of “long-distance” can wreak havoc on this new experience.
Ultimately, how to handle this transition with a boyfriend, girlfriend, partner or friend is an experience that looks different for everyone. Most of us end up in a gray area, but even through the gray, it is important to find ways to balance your home relationships with your incoming college ones.
Whether romantically or platonically, these tips are here to help you navigate through these relationships during college.
Let your friends know you’re thinking about them.
Even if the communication isn’t constant, a simple check-in can mean the world to someone in a new environment. Vivian Kohn, a freshman Jewish studies major, gave her input on maintaining long distance friendships. Vivian says that every few days she will send a few friends a “Hey, thinking of you” text. She feels that this opens up a window for conversation and can really make someone's day.
Don’t close yourself off to new experiences and new people.
While long distance relationships and friendships can provide a sense of security, don’t let it interfere too heavily with this exciting time in your life. According to a study by SagePub, students in long distance relationships participate less in university-oriented activities. While it is okay to prioritize speaking to your friend or partner, make sure to maintain a healthy boundary so you don’t miss out! Kohn added that she makes an effort to attend as many on campus events as possible in order form new bonds, and emphasized the importance of being open minded.
Set times for communication.
Luckily, long distance relationships are fairly easy to maintain with cell phones and social media use. However, it is important to discuss how communication will look between you and your partner. If you have conflicting schedules, make sure to let each other know what times work best for you - which could be weekly, daily or anything in between. Psychologist Jocelyn Charnas echoed this idea in an interview with Women’s Health Magazine, adding that it is “extremely important to set realistic and healthy expectations.” This may not work out perfectly all the time, but respecting this boundary and not hyper-fixating on the communication aspect of the relationship will help ease any anxiety or stress.
Take it one day at a time - nothing is permanent.
All relationships look different. Whether you and your partner or friend have chosen to stay together, break up, or stay somewhere in the middle, it takes time to adjust and figure out what will work best for you. In the words of Dr. Charnas, “there’s no right or wrong answer, but problems ensue when [things] aren’t discussed.” Don’t be afraid to establish what you want or need, because you deserve to enjoy this time without sacrificing your home relationships.